If Philly is Brussels Sprouts, then the California Coast is Flourless Chocolate Cake... Feb 26

Today and yesterday I have been driving through the giant redwoods.  They never cease to amaze me. I  spent 2 days walking through the Redwoods national park last Christmas and I wish I could believe that  this Redwood-And-Me reunion could be an annual thing.  It is good for my soul.  They reach to the sky with more success than any other living thing.  I listened to Sheila Chandra throughout most of the ride, which definitely was worth it.




But lets see... the last week and a half...

Last week I participated in the Bartimaeus Institute at Ched & Elaine's. It was challenging, inspirational, fun, and full of kindred spirits. It inspired me to continue my journey with Philadelphia with new energy to serve the city better, reach out to more people, love the land a bit more/better, and be conscious of who and what I support with my economic consumption.  There was a section at the Institute where we pondered how we spend money.  So, we ask these questions when buying something:

1. Do I need it or do I desire it?
2. What is the ecological impact of how it was made?
3. What are the working conditions, including living wage, of those producing these goods?
4. Is it fair or free trade, including profit margins?
5. What is the market place including? - consider relationships to producers, distributors, retailers, etc.
6. Is this product sustainably made?

I feel like that was a good rundown when purchasing new things.

Elaine and Cali

the class

Another theme that consistently stops me and makes me reconsider how I interact with the world is the reminder that we are all part of a much bigger story than our  day-to-day lives. We are one small part of the story of Philadelphia, one part of the story of gender equality, one part of the story of anti-racism, of Christianity, of our lineage, of our neighborhood, of the land's health. And when I see this bigger picture, my decisions of today do not just relate to today, but relate to a much larger narrative. If we all constantly chose our own comfort over the revolution of anti-racism, or gender equality, or breaking down the economic glass ceiling for those in my neighborhood, then what will happen to all these narratives?  Nothing.

It is a daily choice to be a part of the bigger story. And who are we to be so self-obsorbed to ignore all we could be improving in the world around us? We are but specks on the lifeline of this earth. Do we remain a speck or rise to the challenge of loving more while we are on this earth?

Ok so anyways, there's a lot of processing to be done in light of last week.

I was participating last week as the "artist in residence" for the week, which meant that I led everyone in creative times throughout the week. It was like leading Art Direction at Circle if you know what that's like.  The excersizes were taken well and got good responses. Experiential and visual learning is so important and often forgotten about.

Burning the art installation we built, as you do when you build with cardboard.

Taking a walk around Ojai Valley.

Dear teacher of mine in Philly, Will, was there for the week.

The Institute ran from Mon-Fri and I left Saturday. One of the guys at the institute was a 5th generation Californian and planned out a driving route for me to take when I headed out.  It took me up Rt 1, along the coast.  It was so beautiful, I could barely believe it.  California coast is, no doubt, the dessert of America's natural beauty.  Around every turn, an "Oh my gosh" slipped out of my mouth simply because I couldn't think of another possible way the coast could be gorgeous, but BAM! There it was! A new way to be gorgeous!  Shocking.  If you ever get a chance, I beg you to drive up the Cali coast. It will not disapoint.

This was within the first 10 minutes of the drive. I new it was gonna be a good day.

beyond these trees is a cliff down to the ocean

oh you know, just driving along the coast

this is when i pulled over to stare at the scenery for a minute.

I got to see elephant seals and regular seals basking in the sun on the beaches too. Check that off my bucket list.  I stopped to watch them for a while and was enamoured by their size, their faces, the barks of communication, and their behavior amongst one another.  It is mating season and... mating doesn't really seem live a consensual thing.  Just saying.  And the males are pretty vicious with one another over their group of females. I watched a couple males duke it out, and on another beach, a male who had lost his fight lay about 40 ft behind a sign that stated that he was in recovery and needed to be left alone. He faced us at one point and his face was pretty beat up.  When we asked the lady at the local shop about him, she seemed assured that he would be just fine after he healed up. They never fight to the death.  Gosh.  Ok.

The big one is the male and the smaller ones are the females

male face!  crazy face!

these two kept fighting. 

this is the poor guy who needed to recuperate.

So yes, I drove up the coast to my friend Strawberry Vixen's house (that was her nickname from highschool- shortened to SV here)  (my nickname was Dying Monkey in highschool... long story).  So SV and her husband live in Livermore, CA. We haven't seen eachother in 5 years, so I'm really glad I spent time with them. She's making a living as a massage therapist- I'm so proud of her!  On Sunday, we drove back to the beaches and walked around more. Day 2 was just as lovely as Day 1. Walking the edges of cliffs, salty air tossing our hair, the sun's reflection in the water... not a bad way to spend an afternoon.  We ended the day by feasting at a seaside restaurant, watching the sun set over the waves. So special.

SV & I

growing out of rocks. How does that work??

SV on her fav beach

the grass was so green. On the other side of this fence was a farm, right on the beach.   Spoiled cows!

SV and her husband- such gracious hosts & friends.

me & the Pacific.  A fleeting romance.

The sunset as seem from our table at the restaurant.

I am now on my way north toward Jasper, Oregon, where I'll be staying with a new friend from the Institute and his family on their farm. That'll be great. Then its off to Portland to pick up Dove from the airport! She'll be travelling with me the whole way back east! So awesome.

Picture Memory... Feb 26

Briefly, these are a few extra pictures from a few weeks ago.

Above is inside the Desert View tower at the Grand Canyon. It was full of these images.

Below are more pictures from the Grand Canyon.  I loved how the snow laid on the tops of insides of the canyon, so you can distinguish the angles of the rock that way.

The below pictures are of the mural that Joe Sorren did in Flagstaff.

Hold up a sec... Feb 21

I do not have time to dive into describing this week's adventures. I am in California studying Luke with about 35 wonderful folks. They are all an inspiration to me and I'm glad to be making these connections, as most of us carry close similarities in the motivations behind how we live out our lives. Good folks.

Last weekend I helped Elaine cook along with another girl, Cali. Elaine had decided to cook for all 35-40 people for the whole week, and she and Ched had cooked most of the food already, but we wrapped up the loose ends all weekend. It was great to cook and spend that time together. It was a lot of cooking.

This week has been challenging and energizing. Tonight we had a bon fire and fish fry. I'm zonked from it.  One more day of study together like this.

that big hole in the ground... Feb 15

First off, I want to celebrate the fact that I've just crossed over into southern California and it's 80 degrees. And I celebrate this because while Bear and I were in the Grand Canyon, it was between 9 and 18 degrees the whole time.  FREEZING!!!

Although we had heavy coats for what we're used to trekking around in, we weren't quite prepared with gear to hike a whole lot down into the Canyon itself, so we kept to the edges.... which were beautiful!  It is definitely true that there is no way of capturing the essence of the Grand Canyon with a camera or even film.  I snapped a few shots.  I'll add some more pics later from my actual camera. These are phone pics for now.

We kept to the southern rim since the northern rim is closed in winter

On the way out there, we drove through a crazy blizzard in the mountains. The elevation is at about 7,000 ft and driving mountain roads in blinding snow was pretty intense. Having to stop for gas at one point, we slid pretty far down this incline at the station and had to get help to shovel and push lil' PriPri back up the hill.  Bear was a hero with that one.

Our first excursion out to the Grand Canyon's rim was in the heart of clouds. Seriously, you couldn't see into the canyon at all. So we watched the ravens duck in and out of the immense white wall we were surrounded by and wondered what they saw.  Walking down the rim's trail for a few hours provided to be extremely worthwhile, as we patiently watched the holes in the clouds get bigger and bigger, revealing this amazing geological landscape.  By the time we could see the other side of the canyon, our toes were soaked and frozen, but our hearts were light.  What a wonder.  Well, really, it's not much of a wonder, I suppose. There are signs everywhere explaining how the canyon was created, and a million other facts.  They were really interesting, but I still just gazed over the layers of red canyon walls in awe of this earth we live on.  And although it was a bummer that the cold prohibited us from more exploration, the snow within the canyon gave a special visual layer that most people probably don't see.  I loved it.

At another time, I'll add pictures of Desert View, which is a point on the rim trail that gives a fantastic view as well as being a really unique look-out building in and of itself.

We spent two days walking and driving around the rim, staying at the top, but jealously peering down at the speckles below that were groups of hikers and donkey-riders who were exploring the trails inside the canyon.  If I ever come back, I pray that it is higher than 9 degrees and that I can head into the canyon, and raft part of the Colorado River.  I would love to do those things!

So on the third day of our little excursion, we headed out to Flagstaff for the day.  For all those who go to the Grand Canyon at some point:  This is a place to enjoy the expanse of the canyon, sleep in a resort, eat overpriced food, and pick up microbrews at the gas station.  There is nothing else going on.  We did not realize this when we planned our trip. And all this would have been fine if it hadnt been so bitter cold.  But being driven into the warmth of the car or into the same geological museum over and over, we decided that branching out would be a good idea.

Flagstaff! It was so great for our day trip!  We wandered around downtown, shared a cigar, ate BBQ nachos and drank Highlife, hiked through Buffalo Park (pics later) and had sweet fro-yo with tons of toppings.  We also hit up Macy's coffee shop, which is exactly where my regular spot would be if I lived there.

We also saw this great Joe Sorren mural, which I'll post pictures of later. Joe Sorren is an illustrator who inspired my whole class at UArts throughout college and I was excited when I found out he's a native Arizonian, throwin his creativity on walls around town.  Flagstaff had a bunch of great murals. I was impressed and wondered if the amount of murals in a town is a good indicator of how much I connect with the town. Hmm. If so, Philly still wins.

All in all, I'd say our trip was a win.  I think I'd like to come back under different circumstances, but I enjoyed our time exploring and catching up, no doubt.

So now I'm off to Oak View, California, to help with the Institute I've been prepping for.  The drive from Phoenix to Oak View (an hour north of LA) is amazing. Truly desert.  I will acknowledge: the desert is vast. And very lonely.  And very spread out. And very big.  And very dusty.  And has Joshua Tree, which I'm passing by but not stopping in. Oh well. Next time.  HA!  "next time"... thats funny.

A quick note in honor of... Jan 9th

This week, 3 people died...

Frank, a family friend, passed away at an old age, after being sick for years. He was a great singer- would come over for dinner when I was a kid and sing old italian opera songs.  He totally freaked out the cats. He had a heart attack in his sleep and passed two days later. His wife is one of my mom's dear dear friends.

Meg, the girl who bullied me relentlessly from 6th to 9th grade, died in her sleep last Saturday night.  She was pretty ruthless when we were young, getting whole groups to gang up on me at recess or on AOL instant messenger. It's taken me years to forgive her. I actually was just talking about her to my Gram when I was in Boulder.  Now... wow. It is too early for her to die.  I believe she has a son. Her funeral was today in our old church.

And this morning, Richard Twiss, a largely influential Native American man who became Christian and has dedicated a lot of his life to publicly reconciling those two worlds. Many Christians think he is too pagan and many Natives think he's bringing the "white man's religion" into their existence. Here is an older article about some of his work.  He will be missed by so many and his legacy will live on.

In honor of...

And she's back... Feb 9th

Oh wow I just remembered that it's February now!  Geez...

Well,  a week and a half later, I'm back to staring at a computer screen, tip-typing away.  I haven't looked at a screen for 10 days.  I think that's a record for me since I was, like, 9 and on vacation down the shore or something.  It has been kind of a lovely thing.  But it's also kind of a lovely thing to be sitting in a starbucks, watching (but not feeling) the blizzard outside, and writing little notes into the ether. This modern world we've created is, well, pretty comfortable for those who are used to it.

So anyways, I've just come back from Black Mesa, where I was supporting a Navajo couple- Marie and Eagle- by herding their sheep and watching over their homesite when they were away.  Below is the hogan where I stayed. A hogan is the traditional Navajo housing. Marie and her sister, Rain, grew up in this hogan with their mom, Katherine, and other siblings. Marie and Eagle now live in a bigger hogan up the hill (shown with the green roof) and Rain and her husband, Hound, and Katherine live just next door in a traditional American house that the "Feds" gave them.  Long story.

The hogan I stayed in, outside and in.

another inside view.

Marie and Eagle's hogan. Wish I'd gotten pics of inside. It's huge and beautiful.

Ok. So the drama I walked in on when I got up to their place 2 Thursdays ago (and there is always drama to be walked in on) is that Marie and Eagle were down 2 sheep dogs and 2 sheep.   A couple days before I arrived, 2 wild dogs had attacked and killed 2 of the sheep.  This was really devastating for them (they have 58 sheep now) and they were furious about the dogs. Believing that 2 of their 3 sheep dogs were sort of teaching the wild dogs how to behave around the sheep, how to sneak up on them, and where they stayed at night, Eagle believed that 2 of the dogs had started to "go bad," so he shot one of them in the hip (injuring it, but not killing it) in order to "teach it a lesson", and then poured antifreeze all over the dead sheep so the wild dogs would be poisoned when they ate them.  Well, his own dog ate it instead and died within a couple days.  When I drove up last Thursday, I saw the injured dog on the side of the road near their home.  And then on Friday, when Eagle was showing me the ropes of herding, we found that someone had shot and killed the injured dog and dragged it into a ditch on the side of the road.  Eagle was mortified and I was somewhat traumatized.  I mean, geez.

So that's what I walked in on.  I was left with one sheep dog, who was possibly the most useless sheep dog I've ever run across.  Her name is Ida Mae and she would just trot along after the sheep, not actually herding at all.  She'd fall asleep while they were grazing and when they were on the move, she'd get distracted with digging in a rabbit hole or gnawing on her foot and did nothing to help.  I was truly a lonely sheep herder.  Dumb dog.

this is Ida, the scraggliest and most useless sheep dog ever.

the horse

My days started by waking up before dawn because we had to "beat the sun", according to Eagle. He had a thick Navajo accent and it wasn't always easy to understand him.  He told me many traditional stories about the Sun and the Rain and the Sea and how the beginning of the man started, etc. He told me stories of Geronimo, telling me that he aspired to be like him (which... is kind of intense). But I enjoyed his stories. He also showed me a lot of cats cradle string tricks and was very impressed that my mother had taught me these tricks as well when I was young.  He told me that doing these kept one's mind alive and healthy.  I believe him.  And man, he was way more in shape than any 50 yr old I've known.  Trekking around after him while herding gave me 2 blisters and made my whole body more sore than I've been in ages. He was just fine at the end of the day, chopped a bunch of firewood for the week, then cooked us some steaks. That was very welcome.

A really impressive Cat's Cradle string trick.

But anyway, in the morning, I had to get up and start the fire in my wood burning stove first (because it got down to about 15 degrees at night) and start warming up water for coffee.

the view from my door at dawn. the colors are lost here, but the sky was pure turquois and the clouds were white and the horizon was this deep orange. It made waking up that early worth it.

this is a visual reminder to myself the Juniper tree bark is the best natural kindling.

After breakfast, I'd feed & water the horse and the cat, and open up the corral to let the sheep out by 9:30 am.

the sheep in the corral.

The first half of my stay was pretty painful herding days because snow had recently melted and the ground had a good 2 inches of mud that I had to muck through after these sheep for 6 hours each day.  If you've ever walked for more than 5 minutes in 2 inches of mud, you know that 6 hours of that would suck.  Nuff said.

The sheep grazing

There were no fences, just me (and Ida) to keep the herd gathered and within the valleys we wanted them in. At the beginning of my time, I didn't understand sheep's herd behavior and was thinking way too much about it, being over controlling in unnecessary ways.  But once I spent a few days with them, I realized the actual small amount I had to do in order to keep the herd together and was much more lenient about them spreading out over a large area to graze.  But honestly, at first, I was just wierded out because when Eagle was showing me how to herd that first day, the 2 wild dogs CAME BACK and ATTACKED the sheep right in front of us!  Eagle had his gun with him, so he shot at them and they ran off, but that totally made me more on guard than I might have been. When I was solo, I didn't want the sheep in the treeline of the valleys because I couldn't see them all, and I wanted them relatively all together so that I could chase off any dog that came in at any angle. But as the week went on, I relaxed a bit.  And no dogs attacked.  (thank the blessed Lord)

They lined up nicely to go home

The evenings consisted of me putting the sheep back in the corral, which made those stupid sheep herding video games have a lot more legitimacy for me.  This is the time of day where I bet having a GOOD sheep dog would have been really valuable.  Ida would just take off.  Wutajerk.

You might think this is just a game... but it is so for real.

Then I'd feed the horse and Ida and have some dinner myself- sometimes with either Eagle or Marie, often by myself.  There is no running water or electricity at the hogans, and outhouses were our bathrooms. I could get pretty used to that whole system, actually.  I washed with no shower without too much spilt water, took the time to cook my meals, enjoyed the warm glow of kerosene lamps, and am used to sitting on a cold toilet seat because of my house in Philly, Cambria.  I would actually love to have a wood burning stove for winter at Cambria.  I love it!  We've kicked the idea around, but yeah. It's a beautiful thing. We would just have to figure out a good wood source.

Ah, yes. And I got a very sunburnt nose and cheeks.

this was my usual attire.  Notice the nose is in the sun.

This pic doesn't give justice to the pain my nose was in.

I had no sunscreen (stupid me), so I began to literally cover up as the week went on.

Marie and Eagle were an interesting couple. They didn't exactly get along. When I first arrived, Eagle was there by himself and when Marie arrived, he left within a half hour and didn't come back.  Marie was there with me until Wednesday morning, but then left to do work in Albany, NY for the rest of the week. Eagle was supposed to come back Wednesday night but... he never came back.  He finally called Friday afternoon to tell me that he'd be back after I left today (Saturday).  So I was alone for about 3 days.  That would normally be ok, but while Marie was giving me the rundown of chores to do while she was away, she handed me this little rifle and told me to keep it next to my bed at night.  This was both for chasing off the wild dogs if I heard them at night and for "my own protection".  WHAT??  Apparently, they had pissed off their neighbors recently and didn't want me to get the "short end of the stick".  I didn't ask too many questions, said my prayers at night, and slept pretty terribly. No shots were fired.

Gun.

OH!  Friday!  Well, first, Rain and Hound. Rain is Marie's sister and Hound is her hubby. I liked them a lot. They kind of took me under wing when Marie & Eagle were absent.  Hound is an artist, which was fun to talk with him about. I showed him a copy of my book and he liked it so much that I just gave it to him. It was a gift worth giving. He's just a lovely older guy who made my stay a little more enjoyable.  He told me he did leather working and sculpted wood, and I nodded politely. But then I saw his work and I wanted to ask him to teach me everything he knows.  He's AMAZING.  I don't have a picture of it, but he sculpted this beautiful Eagle Dancer out of the roots of a Cottenwood tree. There was so much movement and patterns involved, I was dumbfounded.

I got to see that sculpture when he and Rain asked me to model a pair of chaps he had just finished so that he could add the pictures to his portfolio.  They were chaps for a young man who commissioned them for riding bronco in the rodeo.  Every detail and cut on these chaps were hand done by Hound.  On the belt, there was all this stamping and burning to create a great floral pattern and I thought to myself "no way he did that himself- he must have bought it that way".  But no- he explained how he designed and executed the stamping.  My eyes were popping out of my head.  So I tried to do them justice in wearing them.  They took photos, and I asked them to take a photo with my phone, but they got mostly me and not the chaps. Oh well.

And so then on Friday, it was supposed to be windy and rainy, so I bundled up and headed out, but Rain and Hound stopped me and told me that in those conditions, the sheep would just run everywhere and not graze, so to give them a bale of hay to munch on and take the day off.  YES!  So I went over and hung out with Katherine, Marie & Rain's mother, who is 95 years old and kind of the matriarch of the community. She has been heavily influencial in the resistance to relocation and the "Feds" since 1981, including spending some time in jail for the effort.  She played a big part in the creation of the Broken Rainbow documentary about the Black Mesa, which I posted last month.  But at this point, she's really hard of hearing and on Friday, she was doing her bead work.  And so I went over and helped her punch holes through lots of little seeds from the tree outside so that she could string them into a necklace.

In general, I felt odd taking photos of the folks there because I felt that would be "touristy", but this is a photo of Katherine that hung on the wall of the hogan I stayed in.

The top pic is the wall of necklaces that Katherine has made. The bottom is the necklace she gave me made of those seeds and little white seashells. 

In my 35-page "Cultural Sensetivity Guidebook" that I had to read before going out there, it was stated that as a Supporter, I was there to be a help, and not to pry into people's lives.  This meant not asking a ton of questions, especially about the politics surrounding the relocation, etc. because it could be very emotional for them and be an upsetting topic.  So even though I really wanted to ask lots of questions and get a more full and personal take on the situation out there, my time there wasn't meant for that.  Marie and Eagle talked some about that stuff to me. Their stories made things seem more complicated and hopeless than anything else.  This is a hard time for the Navajo and the Hopi, for sure. If you're interested in learning more about it, you can read more here: http://supportblackmesa.org/

So, that's about all I have brain power to record right now.  I am writing all this so that I don't forget it all some day. But it is right now still very much in the "processing" part of my brain, and I have not been able to go through that process completely yet, or come out on the other side with an idea of how I would like to act in response to the experience.  My Observe-Process-Respond way of interacting with most things in life is going to take a while for this one.

My prayer that I prayed every day during my time at Black Mesa was the Prayer of St Francis. Really, that's been my prayer for about a year now, but it seemed especially applicable this past week or so.

Lord, make me a channel of thy peace;

that where there is hatred, I may bring love;

that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness;

that where there is discord, I may bring harmony;

that where there is error, I may bring truth;

that where there is doubt, I may bring faith;

that where there is despair, I may bring hope;

that where there are shadows, I may bring light;

that where there is sadness, I may bring joy.

Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted;

to understand, than to be understood;

to love, than to be loved.

For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.

It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.

It is by dying that one awakens to eternal life.

Amen.