Heartstrings in Philly

note: Most names in my writing are changed in order to protect anonymity. Also, it's kinda fun to make up nicknames. 

Dear life,

I have exactly one week until I put pedal to the metal with this trip thing. This week I'm wrapping up my last days of working for my church community, doing the office work. I've worked at that desk for over a year and the most rewarding part of the job has probably been witnessing how the organizing & tending to a community and the spaces we exist in can harvest so much goodness and care amongst the people involved, whether a part of the church or not. There is a term (that I forget right now but will look up and add later) that means "the force that binds us together in spite of everything that might pull us apart."  I interact with that force daily here and it often leaves me picking my jaw up off the ground after I've seen miracles work in broken relationships and broken neighborhoods. It is a force of reconciliation, patience, love, long-suffering, and vision. And I am grateful for it.  Our community is Circle of Hope.  And these are just a small handful of people who I recognize that force in:

My first stop next week is down to visit my friends Horse and Sparrow in North Carolina. They are a couple of wild anarchist folks living in the woods, making music and carving life-surviving hand tools.  I met Horse years ago through our common theological mentor in California and met Sparrow last year when they biked, as a newly married couple, around the east coast as part of an exodus from a community house they found themselves in conflict with.  I have a lot of respect for what these two cats stand for and how they interact with the social structures we exist in. It'll be good to reconnect and see where this year has brought them.

I have a feeling that between now and next wednesday, my heartstrings will be pulled pretty hard here in Philly and I'll  question whether this trip is a good idea at all.  Long goodbyes are the worst.

2012 Brink of An Era

A year of regretted calls, crooked tails, broken bones, broken promises, tempered fists, comfort food, and hangovers filled with problems unsolved.  My 28th year of life was pretty of lame in these ways.  Unfair to sum up a whole year this way, for sure, but accurate.

A year of personal revisioning, weekly painting, dreamy storytelling, bone stimulating, community support, comfort food, and coffee buzzes filled with problems solved.  My 28th year of life has changed who I am, and lifted a veil from my eyes in how I view myself and others. 

I beat my pillow with prayers at night and dance my prayers in the day.  Lord, I pry myself from your arms every day and run fast away, but you're around the corner I turn. I run to you.  Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Trip planning

Dear life,

I have 20 days until I depart on my trip around the country.  My room is a mess, my calendar is overfilled with things I forgot to do, I don't have the trip totally planned yet, Christmas is clouding my realization that I'm leaving very soon, and of course now, for the first time since last winter, my adorable cat wants to snuggle with me every time in the house. The fuzziest little fluffball all warm and cuddly... there's a part of me that still wants to figure out that harness for her so I can take her along with me.  It's a terrible idea, but shucks. She's so cute! You see?

But yes, I'm leaving on a trip around the country.  It has come about for numerous reasons. To name a few...
- Reconnect with myself.  Life has changed me greatly in the past few years and I need to step away from city life and realize who I am away from all my constant influences.
- See lands.  My wish to exist in other landscapes besides the deciduous forests of the northeast have only come true in short visits, so I want to pursue that more fully.
- See friends/family.  I want to reconnect with friends & family around this northern part of america within their own context in life, not just at conferences, shows, or in my city when they come through.
- Getting some space.  The last year in particular has been hard for me and although I intend on coming back to Philly, this is reminding myself that I am not stuck in any place.  I started planning this trip months ago - maybe in the spring - and its possible that I should have just left then.  But in order to save $ and finish some commitments I had here, I decided to wait.  I'm in a different spot now in my head than I was back then- a better spot for sure.  So now I'm finally leaving and it's not because I'm running away any more. It's because I'm leaving and going on this adventure.
- Art. I am shifting gears with my art and want put my skills to work in new venues. Also, traveling will be great as inspiration.
- And stuff and things...

So here's the trip! Click on it to make it bigger.

It's not set in stone, especially the northern route back to Philly which is not planned hardly at all, but that's what it is so far. I have about a month and a half to get to California, where I will stay for a couple weeks, and then I'll have about a month to get back to Philly. I aim at being in Philly for Easter, 2013.  We'll see how it goes.